6.17.2009

gauner.






WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU BREAKING NEWS.

According to our sources, a woman known only by the moniker ‘The Mistress’ is now wanted by federal authorities for attempted murder. 

The victim, a man called The Master, was found earlier this afternoon.

Details of the crime have not yet been released, but authorities have already declared Mistress their prime suspect. On the screen is the number of the tip line police have opened specifically for this case. Any information regarding this crime, The Mistress, or her whereabouts should be directed there. Be warned: police list this woman as armed and dangerous.





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